Posts

Interpersonal Relationships

One major thing that I would like to get across to the masses is that suffering from borderline personality disorder is a very daunting task! It is never ending for one minute my moods are either like in a manic stage or a depressed mode. Bpd according to many mental health therapists is totally impossible and is a hopeless condition. I am exhausted from living this way for the only emotions that governed my life was anger and rage and with it followed by addictions of sex, drugs and pornography.  I am fighting with just getting out of the gay lifestyle and watching pornography right now. I am into all sorts of pornography except watching men have sex with women. I seem to be addicted to the effects and the sensations that come over me by another woman. After I got out of the life of drugs and prostitution I went straight to the gay lifestyle for many years I had sex with men and women and even transgender women and even lesbian couples or married couples as well when I was in pr...
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Destruction Vs. Construction

Nighttime is one of my most difficult times in my life since I have the majority of my memories of being molested by my father when I was young and then in my teenage years getting into a National prostitution ring and being forced into working on the  hoe stroll. I got into so many different situations that was very dangerous and very risky. I got into so many strange guys vehicles off and on and I seemed like I was having recreational fun,however it was by far from fun. Little does alot of folks really know what kind of world is coming out when they're going to bed. It's a very vastly different story. Before I hit the streets at night I was given a quota to bring back to my pimp and I couldn't stop working until I met the quota which led to me rubbing and mobbing tricks or Mark's. I got really good at picking up men that I knew that I could peel. I used to wear long curvy acrylic nails for that specific purpose to do just that. I got a reputation with the customers ...
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Conquering My Biggest Fear...

After much thought and careful  consideration and a whole lot of prayer I am deciding to come out publicly about this. I have never had a clear sense of identity for it was easy for me to be a entertainer of men since I was a very young child. I was taught well by my father to entertain men through sex so it was very ingrained in my psychology. For most of my life I looked to be the center of attention and I was always matching my insides to your outsides. I was excellent at playing the part of the life of drugs and prostitution for I was groomed as a child to be exploited in child pornography.  I have used sex to get what I wanted and mostly to get attention. I didn't know anything different from that. I have not talked about what I'm about to discuss. I have been diagnosed with having borderline personality disorder and it's been a total nightmare and tons of painful times and things has taken place in my life as a result of having bpd.  With having borderline personal...
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